THE MONSTER BELOW
by Sexydrocelldoll
Summary: At first I was terrified, screamed for help every night... Until he spoke to me, explained that he wasn't there to hurt me. Now I can't imagine my life without him, don't want to. He's my best friend, the person I tell all my secrets to, my problems, my dreams. But there is one secret I have never told him, and doubt I ever will. I'm in love with the mister below my bed sebxciel
1. Chapter 1

As you can see I deleted most of my stories. I look back at my stories and asked myself what possessed me to write this? But you know along the way I found myself as I took a break from this site. So for some reason you guys really love possession and confession, I'll keep them but they will be on hiatus for a while, so here is my new writing and my journey to finding myself. Enjoy!

...

Most people think im crazy, always have. I mean what person in their right mind believes in monsters, especially after the age of 5. Well at the age of 16, 17 in a few weeks, I did. I knew they were real, there was no doubt in my mind, because there was one hiding under my bed.

As far back as I could remember he had been there. Hiding in the darkness under my bed. At first I had been terrified, screamed for my parents every night, begging to sleep with them in their bed. They had let me, for a while at least, but in the end they had put a stop to it. Probably because I would still scream and yell, telling them that the monster had followed us and was now under their bed. No matter where I went, be in another room, a friends house, even on holiday, he was always there.

My parents had taken me to see numerous doctors hoping that one of them would have the answer, know what was wrong with me, with my mind. One doctor said that I had an over active imagination, another said I was seeking for attention, others just said I was delusional. After those doctors failed to come up with any answers to satisfy my parents they seeked help elsewhere, hypnotherapists, wiccans, anything.

I once has to spend the night at a sleep clinic so these people from a university could monitor my sleep. I was only 8, they stuck wires all over my head and hooked me up to this machine. I remember the room being cold and smelling like chemicals. I didn't like it. The place gave me the creeps.

Once again he was there, I could sense him lurking below in the darkness. I began to scream for help, banging on the door for them to let me out but all that happened was two guys came in and strapped me down on the bed before placing the wires I had ripped off in my panic back on.

Not long after I heard him speak...

He had never said a thing to me before, always remained silent, he was just a presence I sensed. But now a voice rose from under the bed, a strong masculine voice that strangely didn't scare me in the slightest.

"You do know you brought this on yourself right? Probably best if you stop with all the screaming and get used to the fact that I'm going nowhere."

After that we spoke every night. I was still nervous, unsure if I could trust him. In fact I wasn't even sure if the voice wasn't just a figment of my imagination, but over time I came to trust him, to believe in him.

I stopped yelling, my parents finally getting some sleep at night, though they still sent me to be looked at. It took a while but in the end he convinced me that it was best to make them think I didn't believe in monsters anymore and once I had convinced them they stopped searching for answers. Though they did make me visit a psychiatrist for a number of years after.

Now just two weeks before my 17th birthday I still talked with the monster under my bed, my parents none the wiser. But he wasn't a monster to me anymore. He was my friend... my best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Why did he have to take it so hard? It wasn't as if it was really going anywhere. We had been going out for almost a month and had only kissed once. I just couldn't bring my self to do it, it seemed wrong. James was a nice enough guy, spiked brown hair, brown eyes, nice body. He could probably be a model he was that good looking. But he did nothing for me. The one time we had kissed I had been a little tipsy, having drunk a 2 litre bottle of cider with my friend Lizzie before we made the mistake of drunk calling James and his friends. And to be honest that kiss hadn't really done anything for me. It was never going to work between us. So why had he been so shocked that I had ended it? Anyone could have seen it coming.

Checking through the rooms of our small townhouse as I made my way upstairs to my room I checked that my parents were out, more than likely at one of the neighborhood meetings. Someone round here was always gathering the troops to tackle what they called unsuitable behavior in the local area. Which basically meant moaning and whining about the local youth having more fun than them.

When I was satisfied that the place was indeed empty I practically ran to my room. Jumping on to the bed I settled myself in the middle, leaning back against the pillows, making myself comfortable. The sun was setting so I knew he would be here soon. A few minutes later his voice rose from below, sending a shiver down my spine.

"What are you doing home so early? I thought you would be out with your friends. It is a Friday isn't it? Or have I got my days mixed up again?"

"No it's Friday alright, no more school thank god, but I just couldn't be bothered with them tonight."

"So instead you came to me." I could hear the smile in his voice. He may always be at me to spend more time with my friends but he couldn't hide that he was glad to hear from me. "So tell me what happened." He also always knew when something was wrong.

"I ended things with James tonight. He didn't take it well."

"I thought things were going well between you two."

"They were at first, but I don't know, I just couldn't get into it."

"And he was upset?"

"A little it seems, though I don't know why. It was obvious to all that it wasn't going anywhere. Even his friends seemed surprised by his reaction. So anyway, once I got that out of the way I came back here, left the others to party without me."

They wouldn't miss me. Lizzie was the only one that wanted me around, the others all thought I was strange, weird. James may be mad at me for now but I was in no doubt that the others weren't at this very moment telling him he had had a lucky escape.

"You should be at that party Phoenix, not spending all your time hiding away in your room."

"I'm not hiding away, I'm talking to you, there's a difference."

Laughing, "Maybe but your parents don't know that, the last thing we need is them thinking there is something wrong with you again and having you locked away."

He had a point but I didn't want to spend time with them. I liked coming home before the sun set so that the moment it did I could head to my room under the pretense that I was doing homework and talk to him until I fell asleep.

"I know, but it's so hard, I have nothing in common with any of them. I never know what to take about and it wouldn't matter if I did, there never gonna forget that day."

Years ago when we first moved to this town, when I had first met Lizzie, me and a group of friends had been playing hooky from school. We hadn't wanted any of our parents to find out so had headed away from town towards the old estate. The place had once been a great neighborhood but when the locals fell on hard times things changed. What was once a thriving community was now an area of crime and burnt out houses. That hadn't scared me. The place looked terrifying, but no one was around, it was at night when you had to steer clear. We had been messing around playing hide and seek in some of the old buildings, the ones not on the verge of falling down, when I had seen it. A symbol. One that he had warned me about.

It was a simple thing, a circle with strange lettering around it and an eye in the middle. He had told me that if I ever saw that symbol I was to go straight home and never go back there again, said it wasn't safe.

So I did, my friends had been shocked when I had demanded that we leave, said it wasn't safe. They had argued with me at first but eventually after I began freaking out, shouting that it wasn't safe, they conceded and left with me. The next day it was all over the news that a group of youths had been killed in a bloody killing... in that very spot. Since then I had been seen as the freak of the group. I think they only kept me around because Lizzie.

Talking of which decided to at that very moment to crash through my front door. "Phoenix, you're never gonna guess what just happened."

This was gonna be a long night.

"Phoenix where are you?"

"I'm here," quickly scrabbling up from my bed and heading for the door. "I'll be back as soon as she gone," I whisper, looking down at the darkness under my bed. I had looked hundreds of times over the years but there was nothing to see. He had explained to me once that even though I could hear him, he was not physical there. I still didn't quite understand it but who was I to question.

"Take your time, I will still be here when you return."

Running down the stairs in a panic, not wanting her to come into my room, I practically ran into her as she ran round the corner about to take to the stairs.

"Wow," grasping my arms tightly to avoid falling backwards. "Your in a rush, " she laughed. "You hiding someone up there?" Giving me a strange look.

"What? No, of course not."

"You know in all the time that we have been friends I have never been in your room."

It was true, no one but my parents had ever stepped foot in my room, though nowadays I didn't even allow them in. I wasn't stupid, I knew that they went in there when I was at school, but it wasn't as if they were going to find anything. But I felt uneasy about people going in there. I think a small part of me wanted to make sure that he never spoke to anyone but me. He was mine, my monster. If he spoke to someone else he might like them better than me and leave.

"Your not missing anything, it's just a room."

Linking my arm through hers I began moving her towards the kitchen. I needed to get her back on topic and away from wanting to see my room. "So what did you come to tell me?"

"Oh my god, you missed everything," she began, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "The moment you left James started drinking loads, downing every shot in sight. He was a mess. Anyway, the guys started with the usual sh!t, you know the whole 'more fish in the sea' type thing. When that didn't work and he just kept going on and on about it Harry started slagging you off, like he does."

Yeah, I knew perfectly well what Harry thought of me, he made it his mission in life to let me know on a daily basis.

"Well then it really kicked off. James swung for Harry but in his drunken state the punch landed on Adam instead, and Adam in his usual way ended up swinging for someone else and before too long all the lads were brawling."

Lizzie went on and on about the fight that had broke out for almost an hour until she noticed the time. "Crap, I didn't realise it was so late." Jumping up from the table she grabbed her coat, shoved her shoes on and was running to the door within seconds. "The oldies will be finishing up their meeting soon, I have to get back before they do."

Lizzie's parents were the leaders of the neighbourhood watch, were on the school's board of governors and numerous other groups. They tended to be at meetings night and day, leaving Lizzie to take care of herself. But the one rule they had, and refused to bend on, was they she went home straight after school each day and did not leave again until it was time to return there the following day. Only at weekends was she granted some freedom, though even that was limited. The weekend rule was as soon as it started to get dark she had to be home, which wasn't great at this time of the year when the sun set ridiculously early.

"Oh, Phoenix. Now that your not with James who you gonna go to the dance with?"

Hell I had forgotten about that. Our school was holding a winter dance, that was actually taking place on my birthday. I couldn't turn up alone. How embarrassing would that be. And the chance of finding someone else to take me now was like zero.

"I have no idea."

Once she was out the door I quickly made myself some food and took it upstairs to eat. Just as promised he was still there, lurking unseen in the darkness.

"So what did the girl have to tell you?"

"Apparently James got drunk and a fight broke out. I shouldn't be surprised really, every party that Adam attends usually ends in a fight. The only difference tonight is that James threw the first punch."

"True, I don't think you have ever told me about a party that hasn't ended with that boy hitting someone. And if getting drunk is how that lad James deals with his problems, then I think you made the right choice dumping him."

"You think really think so?"

"You deserve the best," an emotion I couldn't quite place in his voice.

"Thanks. Problem now is I have no one to take me to the dance. I can't go by myself. "

"That's probably for the best."

"For the best?" For some reason he didn't seem keen on this dance, he'd been trying to talk me out of going ever since I first brought it up. "How is being dateless and missing the best dance of the year 'for the best'?"

Out of all the dances our school held the winter dance was the best, mostly because it was our R.E teacher and a couple of teaching assistant that chaperoned. Mrs Newton had kind of lost her faith in humanity a few years back, so no longer cared what any of us got up to. And the TA's, well I think it was them that spiked the punch at last year's dance.

"No reason, I just remember the state you came home in last year," his voice sounding a little off.

I wish I could see him, see his face. Maybe then I might be able to tell when he was keeping something from me. But then again, while his voice wasn't scary in the slightest, I had no idea what he actually looked like. I mean was he green, red? did he have horns? massive long teeth? I had no clue. In my head I always pictured a young Johnny Depp. A guy could always dream.

"That wasn't my fault. I had no idea the stuff was spiked, not until it was too late anyway." Too late meaning I was passed out hugging the toilet. "Anyway unless I can find someone to go with it looks like I'll be spending my birthday at home, alone."

"You're never alone Phoenix, I'll always be here."


	3. Chapter 3

Lizzie was determined that I have a date for the dance, so determined that she had even spoke to Will about taking me.

Yeah like that was ever gonna happen.

"Maybe you should just get back together with James, at least until after the dance, that way you would definitely have someone to go with."

Meeting her eye, "Lizzie, it's over, there is no going back now. And I wouldn't want to. He's a nice guy but..."

"But what?"

I really don't know.

I mean he was a good catch, popular, hot even, but... "I just don't feel that way about him."

"Sometimes I worry about you. You've had only two boyfriends in your entire life and neither ever lasted or went further than kissing. You don't even seem that into guys...Your not straight are you?" taking a step back, her hands held up as she backs away, a mock look of horror on her face making me smile.

"No I'm not straight," I laugh. "Just never found anyone that's worth my attention, someone that makes my heart race, my pulse pound." Instantly my thoughts turn to Him.

Over the years my feelings for him have changed from loving him as one would love a brother, a friend, to loving him as a man, a man I wanted so desperately to meet. Though it will never happen.

Every year on my birthday he asks me what I would wish for, and every year its been something silly, something unimportant. I hope that this year I'll have the courage to ask for what I truly want.

"By the look on your face i'd say you've already met that someone," she smirks as the bell rings, calling us back to class.

"I wish."

"So how was school?" my mum asked.

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

What else did she want to hear? It was the same thing every day. I'd get home from school, do my homework, then have to sit through dinner with her and dad. All the time pretending that everything was fine.

We would never be a normal family, not after what happened in the past. A past I might add that they cannot seem to forget. I have to watch everything I say and do because if they for one minute suspect that I might be, as they put it, 'having a relapse,' they will send me way again.

They see it as being for my own good. They think that one of them quack doctors they took me to as a child actually did some good. Well I beg to differ. There is no way in hell I will ever let them do that to me again. I know I shouldn't, know that they thought they were doing the right thing, but I hate them for it. Though I guess I should be grateful that they kept me and didn't send me see I was adopted as baby. No idea about my really parents, couldn't care less. But I am grateful that mum and dad cared enough to keep me.

"So are you and your friends still going dress shopping this weekend?" mum asked, trying to encourage me into a conversation.

"Yeah, I'll be gone most of the day." Not that I will be buying a suit now. "We're catching the bus to the city and plan to grab dinner and a movie before heading back."

"Sounds fun."

"Mmm..."

"What's wrong honey?"

"Nothing." Raising from the table I clear my plate before making my excuses. My mum's not stupid, she knows somethings wrong, but as long as it has nothing to do with losing my mind then she's usually cool. "I've still got a little work to do, it ok if I have my pudding upstairs."

"Sure. I'll be here if you want to talk."

I wish I could talk to her, I need someone to chat to, but I cant really ask my mother for advise on loving the monster under my bed who spoke to me at night. She really would believe me insane then.

When I finally escaped up to the safety of my room I was thoroughly depressed. I didn't have anyone I could open up to, no one but him, but when it came to the one topic I really needed advice on... There truely was no one.

"You ok Phoenix?" He asked as I attempted to make myself comfortable on the bed.

"Not really."

"Wanna talk about it."

"Not really," I repeated.

"Well if your not going to talk to me about it then we better take your mind off it."

His comment making me smile. "Ok, so distract me." I loved his distractions, even if they were a little scary at times. The night me told me about the symbols he had been distracting me. "But tell me something about yourself." I added, the words just popping out of my mouth.

"About me? This is new, I don't think you have asked anything about me since the night we first spoke."

True, I hadn't. I'd never even asked his name before. Surely if I was going to waste my life pinning over him I should at least know his name.

"What would you like to know?"

"Who are you? Where are you?"

Panic seized me as I was met with silence. My breath coming thick and fast.

What had I done? After years of just not asking questions I had to go and open my mouth now. What if he left me? Then I would truly be alone.

"It's a little hard to explain right now, but I guess I can give you my name. I'm surprised you've never asked."

Oh thank the lord, he's still here.

"Guess I just never found the right moment." My voice giving away my high emotion.

"Hey, you ok?"

"Yeah," I said while taking deep breaths, trying to care myself. "So tell me what is your name?"

"...Sebastian."

Sebastian... Sebastian...

"I like it. It's different, kind of unusual."

"What did you expect, something like more monster related," he laughed. "You may have grow up thinking of me as the monster under the bed but that doesn't make me so."

Then if he was not a monster what was he? "You never corrected me."

"I know, you were a young child, scared and terrified of the presense you could feel underneath your bed, and as a child I thought it best you believe that I was. It was much easier than informing you of the truth."

"And what is the truth?"

"Something you are not yet ready for."

What was that supposed to mean?

"I'm not a child anymore." I say, even though I just kind of sounded like one moaning like that.

"I am well aware of that fact Phoenix, but still, there are things that you are not quite ready to hear."

"But you will tell me one day?"

"Yes, when the time is right I will tell you everything you need to know."

Well I was right, shopping for dresses when your dateless is depressing. Lizzie and Alois have dragged me in almost every single shop in town, tried on millions of silk suit's, that for some reason they think looks good. Sometime I swear fashion designers either need glasses or just plain shooting. Walking down the main high street we headed to the only store left, a small boutique, the window full of crowns, a baby pink suit in the centre. Ewwwwwww. I wasn't a big fan of pink, not that shade anyway, but apparently Alois was.

"OMG, look at that one, I so have to try that on." A huge smile on his face. "I think this could be the one guys."

"I think someones gone temporarily blind," Lizzie sniggered behind her hand as Alois walked through the door ahead of us.

The place had seemed tiny from the outside but inside it opened up into a huge room filled with racks of suit's of every colour under the sun. While Alois went to ask the shop assistant, a petite old lady with long white hair, I followed Lizzie to the sale rack in the corner.

"I still can't believe my parents only gave me fifty quid to get a dress, and I still need shoes," she moaned flicking through the dresses. "Hey what do you think of this one." Holding up a floor length blue sparkly dress.

"Looks ok."

"I'm going to see if I can try it on."

Once she was gone I started wandering round the shop, flicking through the rails though not really seeing them. I really didn't want to be here. Why did I even come, I mean it wasn't as if I was going to the stupid dance anyway.

The dress Lizzie had picked off the rack had turned out to be too big, but the lady in the shop had said she could have it altered for her free of charge, which was nice, but personally I think she was just so desperate to get rid of the thing.

"And what about you dear, have you seen anything that catches your eye?"

"You have a lot of nice things, but I'm not attending the dance so have no need for a suit."

"Nonsense." Standing and moving around the counter towards a smaller rack at then back I hadn't seen before. Pulling a clothes bag from the rail. "Here, try this one on. It will be perfect for you."

"No really, I'm not going," I say trying to hand it back to her.

Turning her full gaze on me I could have sworn I saw them flash red for the briefest second. I really needed to get more sleep at night. "I'm sure you will meet someone in time for the dance, better to be prepared, you can always return it if you don't go." That was true, but there was just something about this that felt off, and I was kind of scared to say no.

Taking the bag I left Lizzie and Alois to pay for their clothes while I headed into the back to the dressing rooms. Hanging the clothes bag up I unzipped it revealing the suit of my dreams.

Weeks ago when the dance had first been announced I'd dreamt of going in a Royal blue suit, that had black embroidery... and now here it was.

How had she known? Ok this is creepy, I can't possibly take this, but then again it was the suit, the suit from my dream, the dream where I had danced in Sebastian's arms all night. Ok that was it, I was buying this even if I didn't have anyone to go with. I needed this suit. I just hoped that it fit.

Ten minutes later I was still stood in the dressing room mesmerized by the vision in the mirror before me. It fit perfectly, as if it had been made specifically for me; the length, the tightness that curved mostly around my arse perfect. And the best thing is I have the most perfect shoes to match it tucked away under my bed.

"Ciel, you ok in there?" Lizzie called snapping me out of my daze.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute."

Reluctantly I changed back, carefully placing the suit back in the bag and zipping it up so my friends wouldn't see it. I wasn't ready to show it to anyone yet.

"How long does it take to try a suit on?" Alois complained as I entered the room.

"I'll take it," smiling at the strange lady. She still scared me, creeped me out, but I couldn't help the excitement I felt at finding this suit. I just hoped I could afford it.

Afford it... hell I didn't have much money, just the cash my parents had given me and some cash I had saved up, which wasn't much after I had brought the ridiculously expensive shoes hidden under my bed.

"Mmm, how much is it?" fingers crossed behind my back.

"Just £120 dear."

Wow, that was lucky, that was the exact amount I had.

After paying we headed out to look for shoes to go with the vile pink suit from the window that Alois had brought. We had both tried but he wouldn't listen to either of us.

"Ciel, I swear that guy is following you," Lizzie whispered in my ear as we browsed the shelves in Shoe Zone.

"What guy?"

Nodding her head towards the store entrance, "Him."

OMG, talk about hot. A mop of dark hair, lean body encased in tight jeans and a white t shirt. And Lizzie was right, he was looking straight at me.

"He was at the last shop also, and the one before that. I think he's been following us since we left the shop."

"Well I for one want to find out why," Alois said putting the shoes he had been contemplating back on the shelf and stalking out of the store and straight toward the guy, who still even now stood staring straight at me.

"Hell we better get out there before she says something stupid." Grabbing my arm and dragging me with her.

As we moved closer I decided that he wasn't as nice as I had first thought, there was just something about him that set me on edge. This guy was dangerous.

Alois's mouth was going a mile a minute, rambling on and on, but it was falling on death ears. "Well, you going to answer me?" prodding him in the arm. That got a reaction. Turning quickly towards him, glaring down into his eyes. "Ok."

Wait, what? Alois backing down? that never happens. Some guy once tried to rob the local newsagents when he was in there and when he had demanded he lay down on the floor he had point blank refused, telling him there was no way in hell that he was going to get her new white jeans messed up on the scruffy floor. But one look from this guy and she was just backing down?

Turning his gaze back upon me I couldn't look away from his eyes. They seemed to shine, shimmer with a strange light, but the was something there, something odd.

"Go to the dance with me?"

What? Who was this guy? Did he even go to our school? There was no way on earth that...

"Ok." Did I just say that? "I mean..." His eyes are so... why can't I seem to look away. "I would love to."

A heart stopping grin forming on his lips, though I wasn't sure if it was in a good way, there was just come thing... Hell he was hot, I'd be going with the hottest guy around. "I'll meet you there," he said finally breaking eye contact with me.

"Hold on, what's your name." I bet it's a sexy name, sexy like him.

"Call me Claude." And with that he disappeared into the crowd of weekend shoppers.

"OMG! Ciel, everyone is going to be so jealous." Alois squealed gripping my arm.

Yeah they were, but... I don't know something just didn't feel right.

...…

Yea ciel is a bit girly but hey he met Lizzie before Alois :p


	4. Chapter 4

Okay the reason sebastian calls ciel Phoenix shall be revealed in later chapters but that's kind of his nickname, and no Claude is not sebastian :p

...…

Alois had a big mouth on him, a really big mouth. By the time we returned to school the following week everyone knew of my date with Claude. I was pestered with question after question.

'How did you meet?'

'What's he like?'

Apparently Alois's description had him painted as some kind of heartthrob movie star. All the attention was flattering, but I still felt odd about it all.

But why should I? I had known Claude for years... hadn't I?

You see that was what was strange, my head was telling me one thing, my heart another. I remember us playing together as children, swimming in the lake in the summer, talking to him at parties. But then why deep in my gut did I see him as a stranger, a stranger that was dangerous.

This was all so confusing.

By Tuesday morning I had decided I wasn't going. I'd been avoiding telling Sebastian about Claude, it was always awkward talking to him about guys. I'd been up half the night talking to him when he brought the subject of the dance up.

"So what are your plans for your birthday then now that your not going to the dance?"

"Mmm... well..." stuttering over my words. "I kind of am going."

"Really? I thought you refused to go alone? Don't tell me you've gotten back together with that boy James."

"No I haven't got back together with him. He's not even talking to me at the moment actually." Ever since Alois started flapping his mouth James had avoided me, telling people that I must have been cheating on him having found a new date so soon. "I'm going with someone else."

"Who?"

"Just this guy."

"You don't really sound that happy about it. What's the matter, do you not like him?"

Do I like him?

"I think I do."

"Think? Phoenix, if you only think you may like him then your obviously not in to him that way. You shouldn't have to wonder how you feel, you should just feel. It's like I've always told you, the right person is out there, and when you find him you'll know."

And that was the problem, the one I wanted, knew a hundred percent that I wanted more than anything in the world, was the one person out of my reach. If in fact you could class sebastian as a person. But he was right, if I had to think about it then it obviously wasn't right to go with Claude.

I'd keep the suit, there was no way I was giving that up, but the night of the dance I'd just stay home, not show up. It wasn't as if he knew where I lived or anything.

Walking down the street towards the bus stop I spotted Lizzie on the corner, her back to me as she spoke to someone just out of sight. Making my way towards her. "Lizzie!"

Turning towards me, a strange lazy smile on her face, her eyes glazed over. "Ciel, look who's here."

Moving closer, glimpsing around the corner and I swear my heart shot into my throat. It was him, stood there glaring at me with those intense eyes. Did he know where I lived after all or was it just coincidence that he was just down the road from my house?

"Hey...mmm... about the dance." Better to get it out of the way straight away, let him know I had changed my mind.

His eyes really were beautiful, mesmerizing. "I can't wait." The words leaving my mouth without me even thinking them. What the hell? But I was looking forward to it, wasn't I? I mean why wouldn't I, it would be fun.

Casting his eyes back to Lizzie. "Give us a moment." Without uttering a word she took off across the road, my eyes following her in disbelief, she never normally left me alone with strangers. But he wasn't a stranger, I needed to remember that.

A hand suddenly stroked the side of my face, sending an icy chill down to the bone. He was stood so much closer now. I could feel the cold radiating from his body.

Hold on, cold? That couldn't be right, I must be imaging it. I needed to get more sleep at night.

"You have a beautiful face Ciel, I'm looking forward to getting to know the rest of your beauty soon."

As before I couldn't look away from eyes. They pulled me in, capturing me. "I...I...Me too." The dance couldn't come soon enough.

"Good, I'll see you there," he whispered leaning down to plant a kiss on my cheek, his lips possibly colder than the rest of him, a shiver racking my body.

"Bye," I breathed.

One more day. One more day and I would be 17, going to the dance with the hottest guy on the planet. I don't even know why I had been so worried before. I was crazy to want to back out.

Over the past few days on the way to school Claude had been waiting for me, and each time he would look deep into my eyes as he ran his hand over my cheek and tell me how beautiful I was and how much he was looking forward to the dance. Well not actuality the dance, but as he called it getting to know me better. I think he wanted to have sex. Still not sure if I'm ready for that, but when I was with him it was hard not to agree with him.

"Phoenix?" Sebastian's voice coming from below.

I'd escaped to my room as soon as I had gotten in. My parents hold the neighbourhood watch meeting at our house once a month and tonight was the night. I so didn't want to be down there listening to all the local gossip, because that's all it was really, a group of nosy neighbours swapping stories. They called themselves a neighbourhood watch, and watch they did, with big ass binoculars out of bedroom windows.

"Yeah?"

"You've been very quiet lately, you feeling ok?"

Apart from a bit of a headache, due to Alois's constant phone calls asking about Claude and if I thought he should make Luca wear a pink tie to match his suit. "Fine, why?"

"No reason, just wondering. Seventeen is a big milestone, a lot can change at that age."

"Not really. I'll finally be able to learn to drive I guess, if my mum and dad let me of course, but that's it. It's not until I turn eighteen that things will really change." Then I can get out of here, head to Uni with Lizzie and finally have some freedom, no one looking at me strangely when I spend most of my time in my room. That was the birthday I was looking forward too.

"You'll be surprised how much the world can change at seventeen. You decided what your wish will be this year?"

The wish?

Crap, the wish. How could I have forgotten about that? What was it I wanted again? I'd thought about it before, decided what I wanted. Now for some reason I couldn't remember what it was I wanted. "Sorry, had a lot on my mind." Yeah, Claude.

"That's ok, just let me know when decide. May I ask what has been troubling you? Is it that guy? You never did tell me how it went when you told him you wasn't going to go."

"I am going, changed my mind."

"Oh, ok then," he said thoughtfully.

What was he thinking? It was times like these when I hated the fact I couldn't see him, facial expressions helped a long way to knowing what someone was thinking. "He's great Sebastian. I can't wait for the dance, it's gonna be so much fun."

"Well just take care of yourself Phoenix, and stay safe."

"I'll be fine," I yawned. I'd not slept well these past few nights. Looks like the lack of sleep was finally catching up with me. "Don't think I can keep my eyes open much longer."

"Then get some sleep, rest."

Rolling on to my side, pulling the covers up to my chin and wiggling down into the beds warmth.

"What's his name? The boy taking you to the dance."

"Claude," my voice mumbled by the pillow I was snuggling into.

I can't be sure, but as my eyes closed, my mind shutting down for the night, I swear I heard him curse.


	5. Chapter 5

Happy New Years! I'm soooo sorry for not updating please forgive me I have just been so busy :( but anyway enjoy my lovelies

...

"I wonder if she'll like it?"

"I'm sure she will, what guy wouldn't?"

Why were they talking so loud? My head felt like it was about to split open. Forcing my eyes open I expected to see my parents stood in the door way or even above my head with how loud they were being, but the room was empty. Dizziness hit as I sat up, sending me crashing back down to the mattress.

"You ok Phoenix? "

"Yeah just got up too fast, I'll be fine in a moment."

Moving much slower I managed to get up and out of bed without falling over, quickly taking some pills to get rid of the pounding in my head. My parents had finally decided to shut the hell up, so that was helping at least.

"Phoenix?"

"Yeah."

"Happy Birthday."

Oh my god! How the hell could I have forgotten that. Today was the day, the day I turned 17, the day of the dance. I needed to get ready, pack my things. The whole lot of us were getting ready round at Alois's place, his parents we going out so we wouldn't have to worry about getting out the house in the clothes we had chosen. If Lizzie's parents saw what she had picked she would be locked away until Christmas. It wasn't even that bad, only showed a small amount of cleavage and the back wasn't all that low, but they were so strict it was crazy.

"Thanks Sebastian. Today is gonna be so great, I just know it will."

"Well let's start it off with your first gift shall we?"

"Gift?" turning back round towards the bed. Why I was turned as if to look at him as I talked to him I have no idea, just habit I guess. Sat on the floor just under my bed was a small box wrapped in green paper with silver ribbon. "Who's it from?

"Who do you think?" Sebastian said laughing.

"I don't know."

"Well the best way is probably to check the tag instead of standing there staring at it."

Good idea. Moving over to the bed I knee down beside it and slowly pick up the beautiful package, lifting the tag.

No? How the hell is that even possible? "It's from you," the disbelief clear in my voice.

"You don't say," he chuckled. "Well are you going to stare at it all day, or are you going to open the damn thing?"

"But how? How did you do this?"

"I have my ways."

"But I thought it was impossible for anything to be passed between where you are and here."

When I was young, not long after he had first spoke to me, I had painted a picture that I had wanted to give him but he'd told me that nothing could be passed between us, that it was impossible.

"I found a way. Now open it."

Quickly tearing the paper off, revealing and opening the box beneath. "Oh wow, Sebastian it's beautiful." Inside was the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. A delicate silver band, and the gem it held, I have never seen anything like it. It was a similar blue to that of my dress, but as I looked deep into the stone the colours seemed to swirl within it, as if it was hollow and filled with smoke. "What kind of stone is this?" and what was it with all the blue lately. I had never really cared for it before but suddenly it was like my favourite colour.

"It's called Stella meus a rare gem from my world, the colour is unique to the area in which it was mined."

"I love it, thank you." I had never considered him getting me a gift before, or in fact getting him one. I mean what was the point when I couldn't give him anything? We had the whole wish thing we did every year but they were just silly things I asked for, not physical gifts that I knew he could never supply.

"Your welcome. I'm glad you like it, I was wondering, could you by any chance wear it tonight for the dance. I'm not sure if it will go with your suit or anything but-"

"Of course I will."

Well my fantastic day was going to hell. Everything was fine at first but now the headache was making a reappearance and it was worse than ever. What the hell was wrong with me? Did I have some kind of brain tumour that had suddenly decided to put in am appearance?

Grabbing my head between my hands and leaning my forehead on the desk I tried to block out and the noise going on around me.

"Shakespeare's globe was built in..." Mr Davis yelled over the usual chit chatter that was usual in his lesson. No one ever listened to his lectures. His English lesson was just before the dinner period and after science with Mr Parker, who we all knew was having an affair with one of his A-level students. Every lesson when he left the room Henry and some of the other lads would hack his email account and quickly print the latest emails between the pair, and Me Davis' English lesson was where everyone got a good look at them. I usually joined in reading them but today my head pounding in my ears I just wanted the bell to ring so I could leave.

"You ok Ciel?" Lizzie's hand rubbing up and down my back.

"Headache," I croaked as a new wave of pain shot through my head.

"Maybe you should go see the school nurse, get some pills down you. You can't be ill tonight."

'I need her there.'

"Thanks," I smiled.

"Thanks for what?"

I was stopped from answering by Henry who at that moment chose to start having an argument with Frankie over who the girl Mr Parker was messing around with was. He was careful in his emails never to use her name so this was always up for debate.

"Will you guys shut up," Lizzie hissed. "Ciel has a major headache."

"Oh good, then maybe he can fuck off and not torture James by being all over that doushbag he's dating right in front of him."

'Or me for that matter, I couldn't stand seeing him with James never mind that new fuck wad."

Wait, what?

"Leave her alone Henry, if James has a problem with her moving on then he can keep away tonight." Turning her back to them. "Ignore him ciel. I swear, the way he's been going on lately since you met Claude I'd say it's him with the problem, not James."

"Didn't you just hear what he said?"

Couldn't stand seeing me with James? What the hell?

"Course I did, and I think he's being a nob as usual."

Just as I was about to open my mouth the bell rang signalling dinner, the noise seeming to vibrate painfully through my brain.

"Come on, lets get you some food, hopefully that might help."

I let her drag me from my seat, out the door and through the corridors to the quad where our small group of friends were waiting at our usual table. Or should I say Lizzie's friends, I was just her weird, crazy friend she couldn't seem to get rid of. According to them anyway.

All through dinner I sat quietly, again trying desperately to block out the ever growing noise around me, but it just kept getting louder and louder.

'Why does Lizzie insist she sit with us?'

'I can't believe he has a date and I don't.'

'James is so lucky to be rid of him, now I can have him.'

Looking around I could hear them all. Stephanie, Tracy, Lisa. But none of them were talking. What was happening to me? Had I finally gone crazy? I had to get out of here.

"Lizzie, I'll see you later. This headache seems to be going nowhere so I'm gonna skip and see if I can get some sleep before tonight."

"Your definitely coming tonight aren't you?" her eyes pleading.

"Course, can't miss my date with Claude." There was no way I was doing that. Even with this terrible pounding headache, and the fact that I was clearly losing my mind, there was no way in hell I was going to miss seeing Claude again.

My parents were at work thank god, so I didn't have to explain why I was home so early from school. Heading straight upstairs I crashed through my bedroom door and collapsed onto my bed. All the way home, every time I was near other people, I kept hearing things. Only now that I was alone did the voices seem to stop.

"Phoenix? What you doing back so early?" Sebastian's voice drifted from below.

"Headache," I moaned into my pillow. "Really bad headache." Though it was beginning to improve now that I was alone.

Searching blindly I stretched out my arm and grasped the box of painkillers off my bedside table I had used this morning. l needed to get rid of this before I headed over to Alois's later. "I'll just take some painkillers now then hopefully after a nap it will be gone completely before the dance."

"Maybe it's best if you stay in tonight."

"I can't do that, I have to meet Claude."

"You don't have to do anything, and if it's so bad that you had to come home early I think it's best for you to not go."

Why was he saying this? Tonight was important, it was my birthday! Didn't I deserve to go out with my friends and have fun.

But just the other week I had been determined not to go, was actually looking forward to spending the night alone with Sebastian. Maybe...

No! What was I thinking? I had to go tonight, I had to see Claude.

Popping two pills into my mouth I swallowed then dry. "No," I croaked. "I'm going tonight, headache or no headache."

"But Phoenix..."

"But nothing Sebastian, this is my life, I can't spend all my time staying trapped in my room taking to you. You're probably not even real, I clearly am crazy."

"You're not crazy Phoenix, you know that."

"No I don't. Hell, earlier today I could have sworn I could hear what people were thinking, I'm clearly delusional. It's about time I started living in the real world, starting now."

"Phoenix..."

Climbing under the covers I pulled a pillow over my head desperate not to hear his voice anymore.

But why am I being like this? He's my best friend...

No, he's not real. He's just a figment of my imagination.

"Phoenix? Phoenix?"

Eventually it went silent, or maybe my ears just chose not to hear anymore, and I slowly drifted off to sleep.

Waking up I waited for the pounding in my head to begin, or maybe the strange voices that just proved I was losing my mind. But there was nothing, everythings quiet. Dragging my self up and our of bed I looked over at the clock on my far side wall... 5pm.

Crap!

I needed to get to Alois's house, like now. Everyone was meant to be turning up just after his folks left, which would be any minute. Ramming everything I might possibly need, hair products, etc, into my backpack, I made my way to the door. "Sebastian, I'm going now. Talk to ya when I get back." No answer came. "Sebastian?"

Moving back into the room, crouching down to look under the edge of the bed. Nothing. Of course there was nothing, there was always nothing. But why wasn't he answering?

Oh no. I'd yelled at him. Said I didn't believe he was real, that I had lost my mind.

He's gone.

Blinking back tears I made my way back over to the door. I had done the right thing. It was time I grew up and stopped pretending. But still, the pain in my heart now that he was gone was very real.


End file.
